The Misadventures of the Soulless Pacifist
by Iris Zerathine Black
Summary: After Chara successfully kills monsterkind and destroys humanity on the Surface, they decide that life is boring and, via Frisk's suggestion, Reset. Killing people? That's easy. Living with them? Not so much. Welcome to the Misadventures of the Soulless Pacifist. (Gender Neutral Frisk & Chara)
1. Prologue: Reset

"You know. The surface isn't really that much fun with everyone gone."

 _"Chara, grand manipulator and plotter, didn't anticipate what would happen if we actually succeeded in eradicating monsters and humans? That's unlike you."_

"Shut up, Frisk."

 _"Aww, c'mon. We're partners, right? I mean, my hands aren't exactly clean either. We both wanted to see what would happen if we killed everyone. I just didn't anticipate you stealing my Soul and taking my body for a joyride afterward. Or succeeding in eradicating humanity. Props to you for setting the newest and final Guinness World Record."_

Chara grins. "Well, at least you're not trying to pin blame on me and realize that you're also at fault. I knew there was something I liked about you."

 _"But…?"_

"Your Soul. It has taken a long time, but I…find myself missing the stupid adventures we used to go on with the monsters underground. I miss..."

 _"Yeah, I miss them, too. You know, we could have those same adventures above ground, too, if you don't kill everyone again."_

"Ugh, you want me to live with humans?"

 _"Consider it a trade-off to living with our family and friends in harmony."_

"In harmony? This isn't a token fairytale, Frisk."

 _"It's either that or this boring timeline."_

"When did you become a cynic?"

 _"You stole my Soul, remember? I guess you could say I've filled your shoes."_

"And yet after all this time, you still don't resent me for double-crossing you."

 _"Why should I resent you? I received ample warning as to what would happen."_

"...So then why…" Chara's eyes narrow in suspicion. "You knew but you still completed the route anyway and then returned to befriend everyone at my behest while I lurked in your shadow."

 _"You're reading too much into it."_

"No…I'm not, am I. I always thought it a little strange that you decided to Reset and kill everyone." Chara holds out their hand and watches the Soul bob up and down in it. "Frisk. Were you trying to Save me?"

 _"…"_

"Hahahahaha! Oh, this is rich! And here I thought I was the mastermind! Crafty devil. What made you think you could Save me by committing mass genocide?"

 _"Have you ever had a thought in your head that won't leave until you write it down or do whatever it keeps nagging you to do?"_

"Are you equating me to a nagging thought?"

 _"Sometimes you just gotta do it to see what happens. Then, you can move on."_

"Yes, sometimes all you need to do is kill your friends and family and humanity to discover what truly matters."

 _"I'm glad we've reached an understanding."_

"...Very well, Frisk, let's Reset. I have decided to give you a present as well. You'll see what it is after we've reached the Surface. Until then, partner."

[Reset]

* * *

 **A/N:** This is where all of my reject Fragment ID ideas go-I mean, this is a slice-of-life fic that I decided to write on the side while working on my main, Fragment ID (check out my profile to learn more!). I've never written slice-of-life, so I thought it'd be fun to challenge myself. I'm usually a plotter, but I'm going to write this without doing so, since it's a fun side project. I'm debating whether or not to have chapters work chronologically or jump around to whatever pops in my head. I'm considering the latter and then finding a way to organize it for coherency later. Or maybe I'll just reference where each jump takes place if it should go between earlier chapters. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the shenanigans about to ensue.

Requests are welcome, but I won't do AUs or pairings or mature content. Unless Chara decides they want to drop an F-bomb at some point, then I'll up the rating.


	2. Chapter 1: Purely Entertainment

" _So where's my present?"_ Frisk asks.

The cliffside outside the Barrier drops sharply to the treeline below, and like some cliche ending movie scene, the rising sun signals the dawn of a new age. It doesn't matter if the human does a speedrun or drags their feet through the underground, upon breaking the Barrier, the sun is always rising. Maybe time passes differently in the underground. Maybe all these events are pre-programmed to happen.

 _Either way, who cares?_

Chara continues peering down into the forest beneath the cliff and exaggerates the lean as Toriel's fidgeting increases to borderline neuroticism. Around them, Undyne and the others bubble with excitement at witnessing the sunrise again for the first time. Ah, to experience something again for the first time. Sans may have cursed the Resets, but what Chara would give to relive certain moments for the first time again. Not that they'd ever admit it.

" _Ahh, the Surface, truly the most overrated scrap of land on this planet,"_ Chara says, ignoring Frisk's question.

" _Isn't the Surface supposed to be, you know, Earth itself?"_

" _Forget about that, Frisk, I have an idea."_

"' _Let's kill all monsters and humans'?"_

" _Don't be predictable. I have a better idea. Let's convince everyone to live apart from humans."_

" _Yes, perhaps a nice mountain cave will suffice."_

" _Exa—wait, are you making fun of me?"_

" _Me? Never. Unlike some people I know, I'm not suicidal."_

Toriel opens her mouth to say something about how far Chara is leaning, but they snap back up and plant their hands in their pockets before she can. Wary, she keeps an eye on them.

"Frisk…" Asgore says. "I have something to ask of you. Will you act as our ambassador to the humans?"

" _What say you, Frisk?"_

" _You're...asking me?"_

" _Sure, why not? If I'm going to suffer the company of humans, I may as well switch things up a bit. Wouldn't it be fun? Wouldn't it be_ interesting _?"_

" _I don't know you."_

" _That's a yes."_

"I would Love to," Chara says.

 _Because someone needs to protect you softhearted fools from the sharks, and who better than the meanest shark in the sea?_

* * *

Immediately following the agreement, Papyrus had proceeded to cause an uproar in the nearest town on the outskirts of City in the distance. It hadn't taken long for videos of him to flood the internet and go viral, resulting in millions of views within the first hour. Thus, Papyrus became the internet meme that saved monsters from immediate and thorough eradication. After all, who can fear someone so dorky?

No one. That question was rhetorical. The answer is no one.

"134,856,942 views. It's been three days and it just keeps climbing," Chara says.

They lean back into the chair away from the computer, their arms crossed, and watch as Undyne's toothy grin widens on one side of their chair and Papyrus' eyes bug on the other. The video is paused on the last frame of Papyrus' lit-up face.

"Wow, Paps. You've officially become the unofficial mascot of monsterkind," Undyne says.

"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A MASCOT."

Chara winces and shoves a pinky into their left ear. They never could get used to Papyrus' unending shouts. "You should sue everyone for publishing your image without your consent and reap the rewards," they say. "I bet Mettaton would."

" _Who's probably steaming right now for missing his golden opportunity,"_ Frisk says.

Upon noticing that both monsters are staring at them, Chara says, "What?" They raise a hand to their chest in a flourish and continue, "I am the ambassador of monsters, liaison to humans, officially appointed by King Asgore Fluffybuns Dreemurr himself." Sinking back into the chair, they finish with, "Hence, I think about these things."

Undyne laughs and smacks the back of the chair, pitching Chara forward with a grunt. "Jeez, kid," she says, "you can be ruthless. I'm glad you're on our side."

Chara snickers. "Who says I am?"

"yeah, it looks more like they're on our computer to me," Sans says from the couch behind the chair.

"OH MY GOD, SANS. NO ONE ASKED YOU."

"Well," Chara says, standing, "it _is_ getting late, is it not?"

"It's like...5 o'clock," Undyne says.

Chara pauses mid-stretch, and everyone peers down at the desktop's clock.

Chara's arms drop down to their sides as they explain nonchalantly, "Underground lag. I spent an entire night getting beaten within an inch of my life"—a glare back at Sans for not helping—"mercying boneheads like this one"—a jab of their thumb in Papyrus' direction—"and running away from 'murdery' Royal Guards like you"—a pointed look at Undyne—"and we've been packing and unpacking boxes for the past three days. Not to mention I have been dealing with incessant questioning from the pests—I mean press. I'm tired." They shoo away the topic and step around the chair. "Papyrus, I'm stealing your bed. No disturbances or I'll jump scare you all to death later."

Chara climbs the stairs and leans against the door when they close it behind them. From the first floor, they hear Undyne's muffled, "Asgore chose a good ambassador."

Did he though?

" _Still not a fan of Sans, huh?"_ Frisk says.

" _I wouldn't say I hate him."_

" _Every time he appears, you 'nope' out of the area faster than one of his shortcuts. You're not scared of him, but something about him sets you on edge."_

Chara plops down onto Papyrus' racecar bed, one of the first pieces of furniture moved to the Surface, and stares up at the ceiling while their legs dangle over the side.

" _I am wary of what he will do when he discovers that there are two of us residing within the same body."_

" _Get on your nerves more-so than usual?"_

" _Let us prolong the inevitable to the best of our ability."_

" _Wait, is that really your reason for running away—"_

" _I do not 'run away'—"_

" _You did from Undyne."_

" _Good night, Frisk."_

" _But you're not even tir—"_

" _Good_ night, _Frisk."_

* * *

 _Frisk, you silly child. You always fall asleep faster than I._

Chara, lying on their back, lifts their hand to their chest. With the light off, it's dark, except for the glow-in-the-dark star stickers adorning the ceiling and casting everything in an eerie green glow. Red mixes with the green, the light originating from the center of Chara's chest.

 _Do not think for an instant I do this out of any kindness of heart. I still do not understand the feelings harbored inside this Soul, nor do I want to. No, I do this purely for my own entertainment. How will you use this opportunity at a new life, Frisk, wielding this heart bleeding of compassion against people with less Soul than Flowey? This is my gift to you. Do not bore me._

The red light fades, but Chara's snarly grin gleams in the dark.

* * *

 **Update:** I'm not a pantser (a writer who writes by the seat of their pants; aka, doesn't plot) by any means, but I'm giving it a try with this story, since my plotting capacity is reserved for my actual series, Fragment ID, which is progressing well! It's another Undertale fic, but is a lot more meta and a lot more feels-inducing. Look to my profile for more, or PM me to get the full scoop. I'm always looking for readers ;)

Happy Birthday, Undertale!


End file.
